I am in a fourteen-day money manifesting group and in this group on today (day 5) we were asked to write a letter thanking the Universe on what we are thankful for. My mind drifts to many different challenges, plans, escapades, failures, success, and outright screw ups that I have done in my 56 years on this Earth. I am thankful for so much that I cannot even begin to list all of them. It has been a wild ride. Over hills which seemed like mountains, through rivers of darkness where I thought I would never come out of, valleys of highs and lows, clouds of rain but with rainbows on the other side, and all out chaos sometimes.

You know that you never get over some things even though you pass through that fog (that’s the best way to put that). It is a fog of fogs…one that sometimes you see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that it is not a train and then sometimes that light is a train or a bus according to your outlook. A friend of mine and I were talking last night about him having lost his partner a little over a year ago and how he has come out on a better side than the state he was in this time last year. He was asking me how I did it when I lost Thomas and who Thomas was since he had never met him. Describing Thomas to him made me bring up memories that I thought I had suppressed, not because they were too painful but just because I have moved on. And then in this letter I am writing to the Universe those thoughts, feelings, old hurts, joys, etc., etc. came welling back up. Sometimes the feelings/emotions come crashing in like a hurricane and you just must ride them out. The eye of the hurricane will come, and you have that peace and calm. But when they do crash in you cry, scream, be silent, just be. Those waves will become calm water again. Even after eighteen years, I still miss that man and just like tonight that hurricane came in for a few minutes and I rode it out. He was the love of my life and showed me what true love can look like. If I never find it again in this lifetime, I know I had it even for a brief time. He is always, always with me.

Being thankful for wonderful friends that have been put in my life and showed me how good of a person I am and really making me believe that and for those few friends that have stuck with me through thick and thin. The saying that people come into your life for 3 reasons is true: either for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I am very thankful for all those that have been there for either a reason, a season, or a lifetime, whether it has been good or bad. I have learned something from every encounter I have had in my life. Some of those people have gotten me through nursing school (you know who you are), gotten me through a bad marriage (you know who you are), were the bad marriage (but I learned what I needed and wanted), or just have been there from almost the beginning. I am thankful for a wonderful family and two terrific parents who showed me love, gentleness, and hard work. I did not thank them enough when they were on this Earth, so Universe tell them THANK YOU and I LOVE THEM.

On my Facebook memories today, it showed me memories I had forgotten. Like having re-affirmed my baptism by being immersed and the wonderful church family (Beulah UMC) that stood beside me in a time that I thought I was lost and alone. Breathe in the FUTURE, Breathe out the PAST! Truer words were never written. I also realize that I am a very resilient person (this came from talking to my friend last night) and as my Celtic Tree Astrology says I am an ACHIEVER  (You are highly driven, and often motivate others. You are also tolerant, tough, and resilient). So, see that resilience comes in again.

Be well my friends. Remember you are YOUR POWER. No one else. My new favorite motto/song comes from the movie The Hustle and it is by Meghan Trainor “BADASS WOMAN!” So here are the lyrics to it…go listen to it.

[Chorus]
I’m a badass woman (Ooh)
What’s wrong with that?
Can’t hold me back
Yeah, I’m a badass woman
Just made like that
But I’m proud of that
‘Cause I’m a badass woman

[Verse 1]
Never second guess me
‘Cause, baby, I’m the boss
Don’t underestimate me
‘Cause I’m the one in charge

[Pre-Chorus]
I am smarter than you give me credit for
And I’m way stronger than I ever been before
I’m a force of nature that you can’t ignore
You can’t ignore, you can’t ignore no more

[Chorus]
I’m a badass woman (Ooh)
What’s wrong with that?
Can’t hold me back
Yeah, I’m a badass woman
Just made like that
But I’m proud of that
‘Cause I’m a badass woman

[Verse 2]
Never saying sorry
For saying what’s on my mind (On my mind)
And I don’t need a body
To prove I’m worth your time (Time)

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, I am smarter than you give me credit for
And I’m way stronger than I ever been before
Oh, I’m a force of nature that you can’t ignore
You can’t ignore, you can’t ignore no more

[Chorus]
‘Cause I’m a badass woman (Ooh)
What’s wrong with that?
Can’t hold me back
Yeah, I’m a badass woman (I’m bad)
Just made like that (Uh-huh)
But I’m proud of that (Yeah)
‘Cause I’m a badass woman
‘Cause I’m a badass woman

[Pre-Chorus]
I am smarter than you give me credit for
And I’m way stronger than I ever been before
Oh, I’m a force of nature that you can’t ignore
You can’t ignore, you can’t ignore no more